I AM GOING TO HOLY NAMES FOR HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of the Internal conflict(s) that I saw where: The issues with the head master being rude to her maids/ workers. She has a personal dislikeing of her grandaughter which is why she is going to send the jewels to her.
External conflict(s): Having to figure out a way to send the jewels because she couldn't send a telegraph because anyone could read it and get the jewels.
So i read your ouline and your story sounds really exciting!!!!
I think you could talk a little more about the telegraph in the begining this would help the reader understand your topic a little better. But over all i think you did a really good job!
2 comments:
Hey!
Some of the Internal conflict(s) that I saw where: The issues with the head master being rude to her maids/ workers. She has a personal dislikeing of her grandaughter which is why she is going to send the jewels to her.
External conflict(s): Having to figure out a way to send the jewels because she couldn't send a telegraph because anyone could read it and get the jewels.
Yeah i only read the first draft.
cya
Great story though!!!!!!
Krishizzle
So i read your ouline and your story sounds really exciting!!!!
I think you could talk a little more about the telegraph in the begining this would help the reader understand your topic a little better. But over all i think you did a really good job!
Krishizzle
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